Greetings, residents of the academy. I've heard that many of you are plagued with a sickness. [A definitely inappropriate-for-the-situation giggle.] How unfortunate for you!

[That’s all the pity you’ll get.. if you can even call it that.]

Anyone finding themselves with this illness hopefully isn't one of my students. I have to say I’m rather unforgiving of absences... excused or not.

Oh, and in case you haven’t figured it out [Yes, that’s a taunt to you ‘slower to come to realization than normal’ individuals] I’m one of the new teachers. Hiii!!!!

Now tell me: who are you and what do you do here? [Yes, she wants to meet as many of you as she can. Not necessarily because she’s friendly, but more so to keep a good tab on who’s what and so on.]