[HELLO, network! What you see today appears to be a live video feed of the library, from the perspective of someone or something scooting along at a brisk pace...on the ceiling. The feed darts back and forth anxiously, as if whoever's holding the camera can't decide where to focus.]

Hello? Helloooooo? Is it working? Are we on?

[Yes. We're on. Good job, cheerful British voice.]

We're on! Brilliant. [Please hold for some "throat" clearing. This is a very official announcement, after all.] Greetings, hello, welcome...to the library.

Let me just--just give you the run-down, here, straight from your newly-appointed librarian. See all these books? Amazing, innit? Never seen so many books in my life. And guess what? You can borrow them! I know. Keep them for as long as you like, even, well--maybe not as long as you like, they've got...due dates. I'm told there are fines involved, so just keep that in mind. But still! Books! Could spend all day in here, really, if you wanted. Thinking of doing that myself, actually.

[The feed swings around a corner and starts zipping down a long line of shelves. For a split second, it twitches--and are those sparks?] Not that I've...really got a choice. Rails, and all.

But if you do feel like paying a visit, I am here to assist! Can't actually...help you take out the books, mind, I'm told there's someone else who handles that. Can however, help you find them. If you're interested.

[And the feed stops, very slowly panning from the bottom of a shelf...aaaaaaaall the way to the top.]

Yep.

Pretty exciting, books.