Okay, since Halloween is coming up soon, the administration tells me I need to let you guys know to reign it in this year. That if I catch you little assholes doing anything suspect around the dorms to write you up or something. But honestly? As long as you don't break down my wall, I don't give a shit what you do. In fact, if you somehow manage to break down Alex's wall without breaking down mine, I'll buy you dinner. How's that?

Got a box addressed to Gramps with a couple weird red and blue glass balls inside. He told me to keep 'em. Not quite sure what he's trying to tell me, here. You're fucking up, Parakarry. Just 'cause we have the same last name...

( private to red )

( private to marie )

[Good day Smash Academy. FYI, your school has just gotten more obnoxious by a substantial margin. Like, by at least 15-20% in one blow I would say. Why is that?

Well, it’s because of the fat kid currently on video on the communicator. He looks about thirteen, shaggy blonde hair that probably hasn’t seen the sharp edge of a pair of scissors for a year or so doing their best to obscure his eyes. Along with the weight problem, he looks…ill. His skin is a bizarre, light shade of blue. He’s also wearing a large, mean grin on his face as he stands on top of a chair in his dorm room, his left leg perched upon the chair back, occasionally rocking it to tip the legs back and forth. He’s set the communicator on the top of something else to focus on him, clearly wanting to hog the imaginary spotlight he’s created for himself.

And his voice? Has no right to be as sure as it sounds, or lay everything on so thickly as he speaks.]

Hey losers. It’s you’re lucky day. You know why?

Because I’m here. Me, Pokey Minch, genius and time-traveler and master prankster.

So, alright, funny story. Usually I wouldn’t pay half a mind to your little rinky-dink school but I was cruising around space and time – you know, awesomely – and I was kind of bored for a bit when I noticed this hole in the ground. So, being the nice guy I am, I thought I’d be gracious enough to drop in and say hi, maybe stay for a while and see if you nerds actually do anything worthwhile.

You’re welcome.

Now that we all know each other, let’s set some ground rules about how things are going to be from now on. I-

[Unfortunately, the boy’s proclamation is interrupted as he rocks too hard on the chair, the chair tipping forward and spilling the boy forward. He apparently ends up hitting whatever was holding the communicator up hard enough that the communicator knocks over and turns off, ending the feed.]