Run, nerd, run. [Video]

[trustycrowbar]

[The video feed shows Gordon, in his favorite SMASH ACADEMICS t-shirt. Behind him is the technicolor orange, green and white of an athletics track behind him. That's funny. Isn't the field house covered in snow right now? Anyway, he looks like he's just run a marathon, or at least a pretty ambitious 100-meter dash.]

I thought I'd officially announce that I've re-instigated a track and field team here at the Academy. [And breathe, and,] You're looking at the head coach, in fact. [And huff, and,] For those of you who don't know what that is, track and field is a sport that combines small competitions in running, jumping and throwing. Tryouts are after school Monday, for any students who are interested and have the aptitude. All right computer, end simulation!

[The last four words cause the world around him to scatter like a corrupted video file and wink out of existence, revealing one of the arena's holographic platforms.]

Due to the cold, we'll be practicing in the arena. Oh, and anyone interested in cross-country running would also come see me at the same time. I don't know if we'll get enough to make a team, but it's worth a shot.

Comments

[raced_god]

Why are you allergic to people doing things that aren't weightlifting.

[tank_rockarms]

I ain't allergic to nothin'. I'm just askin' questions as an interested observer is all. Just findin' out what he plans on doin' and if it's gonna interfere with anything else I might be doin'.

[raced_god]

Max. I can feel the disdain from here.

[tank_rockarms]

I got no idea what you're talkin' about, I appreciate a good hammer throw or shot put done well just as much as any other guy.

[raced_god]

Those don't count. They involve lifting heavy objects.

Max has no lingering childhood issues

[tank_rockarms]

It's track and field. It ain't weight lifting. It's not like I'm any good at either of them, so, you know, it's not like I was the fat kid growin' up who's just angry at things he was awful at bein' forced to do when he was 8, 'cause I'm still awful at hammer throw and shot put but I enjoy watchin' them. I just don't see the point of needin' to run places fast, is all. As long as you get there eventually, that's the important part. You did it, good job, nice effort, it takes a lot to be able to run a mile, and you burned just about as many calories doin' it in 15 minutes as the guy who did it in only 6.

[raced_god]

Just because you're not good at something doesn't mean you have to look down on the people who are better at it than you. That makes you a jerk.

[tank_rockarms]

That ain't the reason. The reason why I don't like track as much as I like, say, football, is track is about one type of guy bein' the number one best on his own. To be good at track, at least if you're a human, you basically gotta be tall and lanky. And you gotta be good by yourself, only for you. There's no team effort in it. It's just the guy runnin' in a circle by himself. Which, I mean, alright, fine. But a sport like football's got all sorts of guys, big, small, medium, fat, skinny, whatever. It's got more types of guys workin' together as a team. It ain't just all about the one guy bein' number one but it's about a bunch of different guys comin' together to do somethin' as a team. It's more... friendly to everybody, instead of just to one sorta guy. Or girl. And it asks you to work together, even the different guys with different jobs.

[raced_god]

It's a track team. Different people are good at different events. There are relays, too, it's not just one guy running in a circle by himself. How is, I don't know, powerlifting not about being good by yourself, only for you?

Honestly, this just sounds like sour grapes. That makes you a jerk.