smashacademy | a MYSTERIOUS TEXT POST appears

[Oh man - this guy again. Interesting!]

Welcome back, Professor! Make sure to behave, OK??

That is not something you need instruct me on.

Although...I am curious. You feel the need to tell me this. Why?

I heard about the time you tried to end the universe, that's why. You probably shouldn't do that? I mean, that's pretty bad behavior, right? I live here, after all.

What I did was for the greater good. To bring a machine back to working order, it may be necessary to completely dismantle it and reconstruct it from the beginning.

The universe, both symbolically and practically, is a machine, and it is far too ridden with flaws to simply continue to patch them.

Yeah, well, talking about the world like its a toaster is kind of weird? But if you want to then I can - it's not YOUR toaster. It's everyone's toaster. You can't just decide to pull apart the toaster in the middle of when I'm making breakfast. I need some pop tarts and if the toaster is pulled apart I'm left hungry. ~~You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.~~ See? Simple!

Just don't do it again, OK? I think you'll be fine, then!

There is far more to it than that. Think of the big picture. You delight in the function of the machine, while others go without those results. We cannot ignore them simply because we have our own.

We consume ourselves with our lives, and delude ourselves into believing that the world must be safe because of that. Even when we hear of war and suffering, we consider it external, turning our backs to it in favor of our own selfish consumption.

Our world cannot exist that way. We can no longer deny the ills of the world. We can no longer permit those infections to exist. We must strike at the core, and eliminate all strife. Into that, both those elements that cause strife and permit it to exist.

If that involves creating a world without the selfishness of compassion and joy, so be it. We will be at peace.

Haha! Selfishness of compassion and joy? Wow, that's silly. Compassion is the opposite of selfishness, you know? Empathy and care are important and joy is the only reason to live! Not just being joyful yourself, but giving joy to others too.

See? You've had it backwards this whole time. If everyone tried to bring a little joy into the life of other people - even just one other person - then all that war and suffering would be taken care of. If we all make an effort, we could do it! I believe that.

It may seem that simple on the surface, and indeed many believe it.

But if it truly was that easy as every life having a small amount if joy in it...that is the world that exists now. Those who inflict harm on others, do you believe that they are joyless things never shown compassion or offered a hand in friendship? Quite the contrary. Over history, the more brutal tyrants have been those who indulge in life's pleasures, incuding love and friendship. They, like you, see their own actions as removed from reality. They as well believe that what happens to others doesn't matter because they have their own. Moreso in instances, where they want others to suffer so that they may, alone, enjoy those things once held by others. None of that is the pure way, but it is the only way thus far.

Your ideals are without truth behind them, Sonny. Joy...joy is a selfish blotch.

I don't see my actions as removed from reality. My actions ARE reality! And you're right about people who do bad things having access to love and friendship, but in that case it's the duty of those loved ones and friends to bring them back in line. I think it's called 'tough love'? So, if you see someone behaving badly, befriend them and try to fix things. That's my idea about it.

So, I guess that means you're my new friend! Congratulations, and don't try to destroy the world on my watch! I won't let you do it, Friend! Haha!

Friendship is built on ignorance. We can never turn away from the other, and must never isolate ourselves.

Do not mistake my rejection for disrespect. I believe in your conviction, though it is for a wasted goal. Consider it an alliance for now.

Call it whatever you like! But I'm going to prove to you how great friendship is, how nice it is to be happy, how you can make the world a better place by making other people happy, and if you get too crazy and try to destroy the universe, I'll make sure you can't do it!

So, what are your plans this weekend? I'm thinking we could go out for tacos? Do you like Mexican food?

High caloric foods are wasteful, though I recognize that is a sliding scale for your species. I am not above breaking bread with someone, however.

And I will not be your friend, as I have said.

And I said you could call it whatever you like!

You could also get a taco salad, which is a salad with taco fixings and it's not as heavy or as filling. I usually have a couple before the main event. Which is actual tacos. And maybe nachos, which we could share. Don't worry about ordering too much though because it's my treat, OK?

I have no cause to consider my finances, only the diet appropiate to my species, age, and general health. There are a lot more factors involved if you would like for me to seek a more personalized plan for you.

Oh, I already have a personalized plan from Max. He's my weight lifting coach so, he has my macros all mapped out for every day of the week except my cheat day. Which I was going to make Friday? But if you would rather go out for Tacos on Saturday, I'll make my cheat day Saturday. It's up to you!

I have a 5000 calorie a day plan. It's kind of hard to stick to it when pizza is so cheap and you can just call for it by phone, you know?

I see. That seems inadequate for a Snorlax. It is more typical for one to consume four times that, however it is a balanced diet of primarily vegetables and the occasional meat. I trust your diet is balanced and not simply pizza and tacos.

I will join you on whatever day you choose.

Well, this is for my Human form - I can't eat 900lbs of food as a Human. That would probably kill me! Haha! It's a diet for doing what's called power lifting! One day, if you want, we can go to the gym and I'll show you how to use the machines. Maybe it could be a hobby we can share?

OK! Friday it is! We can go in the evening! We have to take the bus or walk - I haven't saved enough for a car yet.

Very well. I have been improving my fitness, though thus far I have limited myself to cardio exercise. I am accustomed to long walks, as well.

There's nothing wrong with cardio! Just... don't tell Max I said that.

[Max was not a fan of cardio.]

OK, so, tacos on Friday night and maybe some weights on Saturday! I'm looking forward to it!

I will see you then.

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