smashacademy | [012]

[Only a vain Gardevoir would have admitted that he thought he was handsome. At least, aloud. But in his head, he could say it all he wanted.

There was something completely different about hearing it from other people, though. How was it possible that he heard it more as a guy than as a girl? But to be fair, it was a shock to everyone who witnessed it.

He stepped aside and left his door open in the event that Vinnie wanted in.]

A-ah. Thanks. [I guess. How do you even reply to that? 'You too?'] Oddly enough, I feel more confident. Laid back? Laid back. [He rubbed the back of his neck with a hand.]

Oh. I mean, I guess that's good. [Surprising, actually. When Vinnie turned female, he felt agitated for every second of it. At least this worked out in Voile's favour though - like, she (he?) wasn't freaking out or anything.]

[He stepped into the dorm since, well, the Venusaur wasn't sure if this was something Voile wanted to keep under wraps at the moment. Privacy was a good idea when it came to changes like this.]

You run into any problems yet? Y'know... biologically?

[If you really needed someone to show you how to pee, then... well, what were friends for??? But he was hoping this wouldn't be the case.]

["You run into any problems yet? Y'know... biologically?"

That alone was enough to make Voile simply stare at Vinnie. He moved to close the door after he entered, but his gaze remained very direct.

Biological problems? Besides not really knowing what to do with most of what he had. He was heavier and therefore it took more energy getting accustomed to the additional weight he was carrying. Little by little was completely different from gaining muscle mass all at once. He couldn't quite grab things the way he was used to. He could grab too hard and break something as he wasn't really aware of his full strength yet. And there was, naturally, everything beneath the belt, which Voile had spent plenty of time looking at, touching, fiddling about with, and being stupidly fascinated.

Human bodies. What weird gangly things. With ganglia, at that.]

...Mm... [And it was hard not to start turning red. But he tried his best.] I'm not fully aware of what I'm capable of, if that's what you mean. I'm not exactly familiar enough with men to know how the body works.

[Hell, he hadn't been familiar enough with a human woman's form either.]

Well, you dressed yourself al'right - that's good, at least.

[One small step in the right direction. It may not have sounded significant, but when adding in the extra complication of adjusting for your bulge and not getting anything caught in the zipper, they were indeed small victories.

They were all things Vinnie had to go through discovering too, even if he'd been male his whole life - adjusting to humanization and all. He scratched his chin and tried to recall the major ones that stood out to him when he had first started out.]

Let's see... morning wood's normal, so if you wake up with a hard-on, don't freak out. Sometimes it just gets stiff on its own too? It's annoying, y'kinda have to just think of something else or hide it.

I think you can probably figure out peeing, but guys have a lot've weird rules 'bout using the urinals, so you're probably better off with stalls whenever you can.

Edited 2014-07-14 07:13 (UTC)

[He was listening. He trusted Vinnie. The Venusaur wasn't going to lead him wrong. At least Voile trusted him not to and there was nothing in the past that implied otherwise.

But honestly, hearing what he had to say, Voile didn't get it at first. And then it began to make sense. Morning wood. Was that was the guys called it? Well, wood, at any rate. Morning wood implying just... wood in the morning.]

...Uh...

[And for many moments, Voile simply stared at him.]

I... didn't know you guys... had to deal with that kind of thing. Really kind of my first time being around one. Or I mean, so up close. You know?

Well, t'be fair, even if you had experience bein' near guys' junks-- [WAIT WHAT WAS HE SAYING. Vinnie's brain was lagging behind his mouth, and scrambling madly to catch up to the idiocy that threatened to just tumble off his tongue. His face might've turned a faint, pink hue as he backpedaled.] Not that I'm sayin' you have, just that... havin' one's different from handlin' one?

[Dear god. Maybe he ought to just go back to pure, objective advice. The Venusaur awkwardly rubbed his forehead as he tried to think of other man-relevant tips Voile might need.]

...Make sure you wash it? Under the sheath too, if you have one... stuff collects if you don't.

[Someone had to give her the hard facts.]

[He continued to stare at the Venusaur. If Voile wasn't already white, he would have blanched at the very mention of things. It was... what? An intimate conversation? It required mature people to have it. Voile was mature, but he had to question his own ability to keep a calm composure.

It didn't help that Vinnie was getting flustered, because it was adding to what Voile already felt.]

...U-uhm. Ah. Huh... I... guess I can keep on top of that. Anything else I should be aware of? I mean, I guess that's really enough. Anything important is good enough.

[Vinnie searched his brain, but found it increasingly devoid of things to say that could cover up how awkward he felt. Joys. His face was growing more and more red - this was probably way more information than Voile ever actually needed to know. How on earth did Max manage to be so tactless and thoughtless when talking about this kind of stuff? It probably really spoke to how simple he was in the head...]

Y...eah, s'nothing else I can think of right now. I think I'm done embarrassin' myself on behalf've my sex.

[He had officially reached the point that he often did with Vinnie, wanting to reassure him in one form or another and not knowing how to. Being an empath was only good for sensing things evidently and not actually doing anything worthwhile. At least that was how it felt a lot of the time.

He shook his head with some consideration.]

No, no. It's fine. It's all necessary information, so I needed to know. Not sure I would have trusted it coming from just anyone. At least it was you, Vincent. Sorry for putting you through the trouble.

[Proof that beneath the cloth-bound muscle Voile was still mostly the same Voile. A little more casual, but still sometimes too entirely apologetic.]

[If Voile was at a loss at how to reassure Vinnie, this, somehow, did the trick.

To him, the Gardevoire always seemed so poised, so ready to think of others before herself that it never really felt like he'd been able to make any meaningful contribution to help her instead. But despite this, she trusted him - even on such an embarrassingly intimate subject. He felt... useful. Just a little bit more like an older brother ought to. Simply being able to do a small service was enough to ease his mind.]

Hey, it's not a problem. Stumblin' through awkward advice's part of the job.

[Older brother was a good way to put it, because what she wanted to say to him she couldn't. He. Had wanted to once or twice in the past, but because Voile had eyes, Voile knew when to keep silent. Sometimes it was better not to say anything at all.]

Oh. So this is a job, is it.

[And he was joking. Kind of. But honestly, he wanted to make Vinnie squirm. Just a bit.]

[Ha ha ha. Nice try. To call it a 'job' might have carried the implication of dreary, unwanted obligation to some, but not the Venusaur. Having responsibilities to fulfill for others and being able to take care of the ones he loved was a privilege, even if it was sometimes hard. He took pride in it.

Vinnie smirked at the newly turned man - by nature, he was just bold enough to say what the Gardevoir wouldn't.]

Heh. One've'em, yeah. I mean, that's what big brothers are for.

[That was a grade A fail attempt on Voile's part. He shook his head slowly as he listened, found his weight shifting between his feet, and folded his arms across his chest.

Maybe it wasn't what he meant, but that was all the better. Voile was the empath, Vinnie wasn't, and he was very much relieved for that.]

Yes. That I suppose they are. I've not seen mine in some time, so I guess I forget what it's like.

[An older brother? That did ring a bell... actually, wasn't there someone a while ago at the school who called himself her brother? Vinnie never crossed paths with him personally, though, despite meaning to at some point.]

That... Altaria, right? I never got the chance t'actually meet him, now that I think about it.

[Somewhere, in the undercurrents of his mind, Vinnie felt a pang of doubt. Of course, Voile had an older brother already. Even if he thought of her like a little sister to look out for, maybe he didn't actually belong in that space. It was reserved for someone else.

It wasn't something he might've considered before - his bold nature had always been so upfront about what he thought of people, and who they were to him. But ever since he left Red's team, his heart lingered in a limbo between worlds. It wasn't like Sonny or Marie would ever stop being his family, but he'd given up his right to have any sort of say on the team. So who was he to just barge into Voile's family?

All the same, he supposed it didn't really matter. Even if she didn't need him, he still wanted to do what he could for her. Him. Whatever.]

...You probably miss him, huh?

[Almost everything about that statement made him pause. The Altaria. Alcin. A name that like his original trainers, Voile tried not to think too much of. Not because of any dislike. Well, none for the pokemon. Simply because those memories were so painful that not even on the worst day did Voile feel like dragging himself through the mud.

If he hadn't been so pallid already, he would have blanched.

But Alcin was behind him. Delian was behind him. All of those individuals, pokemon and people alike, were behind him. And sometimes Voile wanted to erase them completely from the mind's existence. Good memories weren't enough of an incentive to hold onto because what good did memories do when they only left him aching?

He cleared his throat when he realised he'd gone silent.]

No. It wasn't like that. I had mostly sisters when I was real young, before my trainer. A couple of brothers, but it's been a long time, so I don't even remember their faces or their voices.

[The question wasn't answered, but despite the way Voile wanted to reach for the closest thing and rip it into shreds, composition was kept. And for what it was worth, Voile had missed Alcin probably in a way he'd never missed anyone before. A shame he never said it to Altaria when he was there.]

[That was... an odd silence. Not one he expected. Vinnie was pretty sure he remembered right - there had been a network post a long time back, hadn't there? And... it was an Altaria?

His mouth opened, about to ask but suddenly, he held himself back. No matter what he felt about her, there was still a lot he didn't know. Just look at how many years he'd known Char, after all - and only very recently had he ever been allowed a glimpse into the kind of past he had.

All the same, it did feel like the ground beneath him was getting more and more uncertain. He'd never really thought about how much unknown territory there had been, all around him.]

...Oh.

[Maybe it was because of how lonely he'd been without any other Saurs in his life as a teen, or how much he took pride in being wild, but he just had to add:] Sorry. That must've been hard on you.

[There was something increasingly obvious. The idea that aside from his likes and dislikes and relationships formed at the academy (in addition to events), Vinnie and a plethora of other people really didn't know anything about Voile.

♦ He was a contest pokemon.
♦ He liked to sew and was a fan of home economics.
♦ He was an empath, though knowledge on that was not truly ever touched upon to full extent and usually interpreted at face value.
♦ He at least acted very nurturing. And for the most part was.

And that... was about it, wasn't it?]

Ah...

[He shifted, as if unsure of what to say or how to proceed, and thinking there was no way to cleverly pull the attention off of him. So maybe he owed it to someone to finally speak up for once.]

Nothing is ever 'hard,' per se. There's just always more. [Implying Voile had come to expect the bad since there was so much of it.]

[Always more? That was true - Vinnie felt like he could relate. It always seemed like he had so much farther to go, and at every turn if something could go wrong, it almost always did. For all that he'd been able to overcome, he was a fool to think that it meant the path ahead would be any less thorny. The optimistic, cock-sure champion had long been wrung out of him.

But he didn't believe for a second that things weren't hard for her. He couldn't imagine that long silence being anything except some hidden burden - though he couldn't guess at its true nature. It would be a very Voile thing in his mind for the empath to downplay her own sorrows.]

Y'know you don't have to carry everything alone, right? No one oughta expect you to be unshakable. It's okay t'have a hard time handlin' it all sometimes.

['I know,' was the obvious answer to that. Except it never came because in spite of Voile knowing that was matter-of-fact and to the point, he must not have believed it. Normal and typical Voile would have simply nodded along and went with the flow. But as it had happened with Sonny, the moment the Snorlax had tried to get him to open up a mite, Voile almost immediately shut him down.

On impulse, the same thing almost happened with Vinnie. The difference was that Vinnie had never broken her heart in any form. Whenever Sonny tried to take a position where he could help, all he felt was that Sonny was trying to make up for something in the past that Voile believed wasn't even possible. And it led to almost an immediate shut down of feelings.]

For all of the people I call friends, I feel that my burdens are mine to bear. Everyone has already their own share of difficulties and disappointments. And if I'm really honest about it, I don't feel I can truly rely on anyone and I haven't for some time. To me, that's fine. Because maybe I don't need anyone.

[He tapped at his chin with some thought, for he knew he was still slightly hard with his words, despite the softer tone he used to say them.]

[Vinnie's brows knotted in an expression of worry. He was conflicted - on the one hand, keeping everything bottled up really didn't seem like a healthy way to be. The Venusaur always felt like he could relate to Voile's selflessness in thinking of others, but now it was much more apart that she did so as an island. It wasn't possible to give and give and give of yourself indefinitely, especially when you were hurting yourself. Maybe it was his Grassy nature talking, but people needed people.

But on the other hand, simply trying to go out and impose his way of thinking, his judgments onto people rarely ever worked. Lectures were only words. No matter how reasonable he felt he was being, Vinnie had to come to understand that not everyone thought the same way. He had no idea what the Gardevoir had been through, after all. He needed patience.

Everything the Psychic said, in truth, spoke to him. Those long, painful nights where the wounded Venusaur cursed how weak he'd become, he had truly been convinced that he was dead weight to his friends and family. Feeling like his worth could only be measured in how much he could sacrifice for the sake of his family, a family that eventually no longer needed him. A trainer who'd forgotten everything he went through. And his own dying flame, determined to push himself to the brink of exhaustion just to feel anything other than helpless. The memories were all there, right underneath the surface.]

Voile... I understand th'feeling. I really do. But the last time I tried to do everything on my own, I ended up crashing hard. I don't wanna see that happen to you.

[There was that thing about being an empath—being a telepath. Vinnie could hide his sentiments around the others, but he was a piece of glass to Voile. He hadn't ever wanted to take advantage of it, except when Vinnie was neglecting himself. Truth be told, the Gardevoir was immensely relieved Vinnie didn't have the same abilities. It would have made it that much more difficult to refute his words and not hear some slight chiding in the tone. He expected that kind of behaviour, and he deserved it, after all.

Vinnie's words caused him to pause and he gave something of a subtle little nod. There wasn't a reason to argue it because he wasn't wrong. In the same token, it was hard just to take it without argument because Voile always wanted to say no one else was like him and therefore things had to be different. In other words, a self-imposed double standard.]

I can handle things. I have so far, after all. Nothing ever changes and it stays just the way it is. Since it isn't getting worse, then it's no more or less than what I already face.

[He lifted his shoulders in a shrug.]

At least that's how I view it.

[012] - Video

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I hate myself for this tag

BEST TAG IS BEST.

VOMITS IN MY MOUTH

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