Greetings, Smash Academy. It's been a while since I've looked upon your rolling campus.

You've been slacking! The grass in the main quad is brown. A year ago, the lawns were so green, the color nearly burned my eyes. I'll give you a pass, considering the harshness of this past winter.

Ahem. My name and title is General Guy, General of the Shy Guy Army from Toad Town's Toy Box, under the control of King Bowser. I was a student at the high school many years ago, but now I'm back to serve as your Student Affairs Administrator. I plan to get my new office set up post haste. If you need anything, come visit me there!

[Private to Bowser]
H-hello, King Bowser, sir! I've returned. If that's alright. I didn't tell you, but it wasn't because I forgot. It was a surprise! So... surprise, sir?