[Green appears on video feed, gathering up as many dry towels as possible in a rapidly dampening dorm room.]

Char. Jolt. Bulba. Where are you? I'm coming to get you.

Sasha, if you can see this, you're not dead. Stay that way.

[After several days of torrential rain, there was finally a break in the clouds. Over in the distance, against all known laws of meteorology, pillars of sunlight had torn a bright hole through the sky right over the resident volcano. Certainly, everyone was too preoccupied with the flooding to notice a certain tremor in the earth that accompanied it.]

[The video feed turns on. Pele is growling at the screen with her eyes narrowed, trying to figure out if Kyogre was logged into the network. It didn't take very long before she lost her patience with technology and began growling at the computer to whomever could hear her message.]

You have overstepped, Wet Brother. I do not sleep idly with your foul presence dampening the air around me. Did you think the absence of our higher siblings would allow you singular reign over the elements here? In all your foolhardy judgment, did you think I would allow it?

This will be your only warning. Recant, or I will teach you such pain that you will be unmade.

As for the mortal masses, I strongly advise an exodus. I make no promises against casualties otherwise.

Had I known I'd arrive in this town during rainy season, I would have brought some scuba gear. I would love to say I haven't had a dull moment here, but what's there to do aside from watching peoples' belongings drift by in the flood that I can't pick up because I can't exactly swim?

You guys can call me Kazooie. I'm here to become the fourth Hokage- I burn witches- My life seems fated to assist mindless idiots who ask for help.