[AUDIO] + [ACTION]

[raced_god]

[This guy is going to keep things short and sweet today with a quick audio post. WHATEVER COULD IT MEAN?]

Does anyone have any of those lollipops that have been floating around? I'll pay you for them, whatever, under-the-table cash, I just need a few. Preferably in a variety of colors.

[AND THEN, LATER--

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, SMASH ACADEMY. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and Falcon is out on the quad with a dog. This shining example of canine beauty is leading the Captain around, sniffing around campus and poking her head in bushes and retrieving items for her owner. BUT NEVER THE RIGHT ITEMS, judging by the disappointed look on his face.

WHAT COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE DOING??]

Comments

[raced_god]

[HE'S ROLLING HIS EYES he's rolling them hard.]

We're drug-sniffing.

[He is completely serious about this.]

[obfuskate]

... Drug-sniffing.

Let me guess, the lollipops.

[ He rolls his eyes in return, harder than your nipples themselves, Falcon. If anyone could sniff out something odd, it would be him, so clearly the dog won't find anything.

...

Right? ]

[raced_god]

She is being trained to locate them, yes.

[obfuskate]

She is clearly inexperienced. There are no lollipops here.

[ HARUMPH. ]

[raced_god]

That's why it's training.

[BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK.]

[obfuskate]

Humph.

[ Hedgehoge curls back up again, tail lashing about wildly. Hedgehoge is mad, mad and disturbed. ]

Stop her barking. I am going back to sleep.

[raced_god]

[Doge walks over to Shedo

and barfs up a lollipop (wrapper and all) onto his shoes.]

[obfuskate]

[ oh.

... oh.

Falcon wants this, doesn't he? Well, fine, then. Shadow will give it to him.

No, he doesn't care whether or not he minds it being thrown at his head. He doesn't care at all. ]

[raced_god]

[Meanwhile, Falcon is being very proud and giving Megaweapon lots of headpets and WHO'SAGOODDOG

YOU ARE

YOU ARE

But then lollipop to the head.]

You have an attitude problem.

[obfuskate]

Such a shame that I do not particularly care.

[ He curls back up in full, tail furling around his bum and ears lowering instinctively.

Except he still has lollipop barf on his shoes, shoes that grow close to his face as he huddles into the grass. He cringes visibly. Fucking nasty. ]

Ghhg... [ He turns his nose away. ] You disgust me.

[raced_god]

It's a wonder you even function with that stick up your ass.

[DOGE WANTS PETS NOW, SHADOW.]

[obfuskate]

I could say the same of your apparently low IQ.

[ i uh

hi... doge.

you vomited on my shoe.

... but fine, whatever.

ＳＨＡＤＯＷ　ｐｅｔｓ　ＤＯＧＥ！ ]

[raced_god]

[DOGE JUMPS UP

AND GIVES SHADOW

A KEES.]

[obfuskate]

[ oh e

... ew

nope, shoving doge away sry!! ]

H-Hmph... I've had enough of this.

[ He curls back up and stares up warily at doge. ARE YOU DONE NOW, DOGE. ]

[raced_god]

[HEH HEH HEH.]

She likes you.

[obfuskate]

I can see that.

[ Rather, feel that, but let's not get into the technicalities. He's just... going to wipe the slobber off of his cheek. ]

It is flattering, truly.

[raced_god]

[Ear scratches

come on

you know you wanna.]

I can't imagine why.

[obfuskate]

Hn.

[ FINE. He gives doge ear scratches as he interrogates a certain Douge. Douge and Doge Druge Team. ]

Just what makes you qualified to be seeking out those lollipops? [ If he's security or truancy, he definitely hasn't been informed. ]

[raced_god]

I'm getting the chemically analyzed.

[obfuskate]

... I should rephrase this.

Are you a staff member qualified in handling these materials to deal the correct punishment?

[ He narrows his eyes. ] ... Although, I would be the one doing the punishing.

[raced_god]

Absolutely.

[Yep.]