smashacademy | [012]

[He stared at Sonny blankly at the very concept of trees and seeds. Then he nodded slowly. Again, nothing he could argue with because there wasn't much for him to try to refute. But it was some additional food for thought.]

So.
When you think of autumn, you think of procreation.

[Because that was what trees and seeds had to go into. And he simply couldn't hold back laughter. At the end of things, it was hard for him not to. But maybe it really did explain the obsession with spring babies.]

[Sonny laughed along with him.]

OK! Yeah! It sounds funny when you say it that way but you're pretty much right!

[Procreation and napping and seasonal food. What could be better, right?]

How does that sound funny? I just repeated what you said in a more succinct fashion. You were getting all flowery about trees and how they shed seeds. It's much easier just to condense it down into procreation, you know.

[But he was still laughing, so something about it must have been funny.]

All flowery about trees... Heh!

[He couldn't really PLACE why it was funny. But just being as direct as Voile was made it kind of hilarious.]

OK! Procreation, then! I won't waste my words. Your way is better!

Speaking of...

[And he had to ask because it was something worth getting curious about. He never really mentioned it and to be fair, he didn't think about it too often personally. But since they were on the subject, there was really no time like the present.]

When do you see yourself settling down and making some eggs at the daycare centre?

I love the day care center in Goldenrod! The old couple there are so nice. They would feed me pie and let me watch cartoons through the kitchen window...

[He should really write them now that he had hands. And could write.

As for the question....?]

I don't know! The only girl I've ever been in love with wasn't even in my egg group. I just kind of thought probably eggs weren't in my future.

[He smiled at Voile and gave a kind of nonchalant shrug. And why the heck was this so easy to talk about with Man!Voile anyway? He was oftentimes blunt and honest to the point of total embarrassment. But not on topics like this, generally. He'd just ponder on that later.]

I wouldn't mind adopting one day, though. Because I know that family doesn't have to mean blood. My Brothers and Sisters and Red taught me that.

[There he was, getting off track. Easily, too. But Voile didn't bother to stop him or rush him along as he reminisced about older days long since forgotten to time. All the same, he found himself nodding when Sonny finally made his point, an idea Voile had thought about as well.

Adoption. It was a good idea. And he could support it without much argument.]

I hear you. I think adopting is a good plan to have. You'd probably be a really great father figure, too. I get the impression that time here feels irrelevant and people forget to think of their future and get caught up in the present. There's nothing wrong with the present, of course. Just that people should be thinking about what days, weeks, months, and years from now hold.

I think I'd be a pretty OK Dad, probably? I don't remember mine. I guess Snorlax Dads in the wild don't really hang around. Or maybe mine just wasn't a very good one. Or maybe I was just asleep whenever he was around because really, I don't remember much about my Mom either except that she was really soft to sleep on and she fed me really well.

But I like kids and I like taking care of people. So, probably I'd do OK.

Why do you ask?

Curiosity mostly.

[His eyebrows lifted and he blinked.]

I suppose I never talk about it, so I never think about it. It just seemed like a thing to discuss. Or something to talk about. It's interesting to get your perspective on things. That's all.

Hmm. I guess!

What about you? Did you ever think about eggs before? I think you would make a really good... parent.

[He'd been going to say Mom. But. Not quite. Not today, anyway.]

You're always working hard to look after people and make sure everyone is OK, and you're always very sweet and kind.

You're not the first person to say that. I've heard it before. And no, I can honestly say I haven't. Again, never anything I've considered since I never talked about it. I guess I'd be pretty good at it. Not sure how to take care of real young people, though.

I don't know either. I guess it's different, species to species. I mean, Humans are really weird, huh? They don't even leave their Mom's home until they're Ten! Imagine if Pokémon were like that.

[He could just imagine trying to share a cave with a rough approximation of his own Mother and possible siblings at ten years of age. There would be no cavern large enough.]

[He almost can't weigh in on it. Because he didn't know how old he was when he was caught by Delian. Numbers and ages were remarkably irrelevant to the family and only gained relevance in the academy when defined by the headmaster.]

I guess it'd depend on the pokemon. I'm sure the small ones wouldn't have an issue with it. Magikarp and what not.

Probably not. But I think the smaller ones probably leave home first. Like, have you ever seen a Butterfree looking after a bunch of Caterpies? Or, I guess in Hoenn it would be Beautifly and Wurmple, right?

[Hehe... Wurmple. Their faces kind of looked like butts.]

I don't know if I would want to spend time around a Gyarados if I was a little Magikarp. Even if it WAS my Mom.

Yeah. That's right. Although by this point, I get the feeling that Butterfrees and Caterpies will soon be introduced to the region. If they're not already there. Evidently region travelling is the new thing.

[He paused for some moments, giving consideration what life would be like as a useless Magikarp.]

...Did you just imply that Magikarp and Gyarados are potentially cannibalistic?

I think it would be so, so cool to see more regions! I don't know if that would really count as introducing Snorlax to a region. It's not like I'd be settling down, there!

[Suddenly, Snorlax in Unova!]

I'm not implying anything! Alllll I'm saying is, with a temper that bad and a mouth that big.....

[He's mostly kidding. Mostly.]

[He doesn't get it. Briefly a blank look crosses his features and he simply stares at Sonny. And then his posture straightens and he gives a bit of an idle shrug.]

Mm... You could have a lot of illegitimate Snorlax children when you visit. That would count as introducing Snorlax to a different region.

[Except Voile's not kidding. But he's also not giving it deep thought. To get Sonny to even remotely settle down, he's pretty sure that would require a female Snorlax, considering Gardevoir and Snorlaxes don't share an egg group.]

[All you really need is some open minded Ditto!]

I don't know if I would want to do that! I never really saw deadbeat Dad as a career option! Haha! Besides, Snorlaxes do best in an environment that's got enough food to spare. I would have to be really careful where I fathered my tribe of fuzzy little garbage disposals! I wouldn't want to be the cause of a region's destroyed ecosystem.

[He knew his nature documentaries.]

Fuzzy... little... garbage disposals. That seems like an awful way to describe your offspring, Sonny.

[But that got him thinking. The children of Gardevoir were what? Empathic and potentially dangerous.]

I suppose you've got a point, though.

They won't mind, I bet. Red's Mom called me a Big Fuzzy Garbage Disposal, once! I thought it was pretty funny!

Trust me. We're a proud race of Pokémon who can eat nearly anything. It's a compliment!

I guess only a family of Snorlaxes would actually think that...

[Because to be honest, Voile didn't hear any part of that, that sounded like a compliment. It just sounded mean.

Kind of like calling a Gardevoir hypersensitive—even if that was true.]

What exactly is in your diet, anyway? Do you literally eat anything and everything?

Not everything? Like... we can't eat dirt. Or plastic. Or rocks. Tried it. It's.... It gets uncomfortable! But we mostly eat plants, meat. I mean, when I lived in the mountains, mostly I'd eat pine needles, pinecones, bamboo, carrion - lots of Pokémon can't survive in the mountains when it gets really cold - fish I could catch from the rivers. Berries, when you could find them. There's not much loamy soil in the mountains, but every so often you could get them. In the foothills, you could find more trees, vines... we have really strong teeth so I could eat plants that other Pokémon can't. Thorn bushes and hard shelled nuts. Apricorns.

[He shrugged.]

I prefer Doritos, pizza and sandwiches. But I can eat just about anything that's organic. When Red found me, I was sick from eating actual garbage from behind the Celadon department store. I didn't know that when you're eating leftovers? You need to avoid the plastic bits and cardboard. I'd turned into a for-real garbage disposal, but it didn't agree with me.

[Voile had to wonder why'd he even try when most of what was on his list of inedible food didn't even seem appetising. Dirt. Plastic. Rocks. None of that seemed delightful by any means.

But then Voile was particular enough that he pretty much found he likes Pokéblocks more than anything else. On the other hand, he was close enough to a diva that he should have been considered one. No matter how well he hid his finicky demeanour beneath what appeared to be open-ended kindness and tolerance.]

...Huh. I guess it is possible to be caught in an undignified way. [He scratched at his chin before remembering his goatee and found himself stroking it with some contemplation.] I think we should just keep you eating normal food then. And naturally, the same for any of your offspring.

Look, there's a time in every young Snorlaxes life when he or she is going to be experimental about what they eat. We're always hungry and if there's nothing good around....

[He shrugged. He wouldn't want to take those learning experiences away from his kids. 'Yes, Sonny Jr. That handful of gravel WAS nasty. Now you know never to eat it again. Try these pop rocks instead! Or at least put some ketchup on the gravel next time.']

But I'm older and wiser, now. There's no need to chew on soda bottles when there's such a thing as lasagna in the world. And tater tots.

As any child would without parents to instruct them otherwise. I at least knew not to be putting things in my body that didn't need to be there.

[No dirt and gravel for the Gardevoir. Only the finest berries of the finest trees.]

I expect you to be a better parent to your children than yours must have been to you. What were they like, anyway? You never talk about your family before Red caught you. I'm sure you had one, right?

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