Yeah okay so, I realize the moon's fallin' down and everything's crazy and somebody stole some masks, but whoever's sendin' a bunch of cheapass robots all over the volcano needs to let up with the cheapass robots. They get in my forge, I gotta bap 'em, a little... rabbit or squirrel or puppy pops out... and then I got all of this extra broken robot junk just lyin' around and all of these tiny animals hangin' around all happy that they ain't inside of a robot no more. I'm tryin' to make extra weapons in case of, you know, more giant monster attack things.
Just keep your puppy-powered robots out of my stuff.
Whoever you are? The punk who stole those masks? You're not just screwin' all of us over, but you're kinda doomin' yourself along with us.
Four holes in the door Wave found. Mask shaped holes. We finally found the last one and You, you huge jerk, decide to steal the other three.... why? You get that they're probably the key to savin' all our asses, right?
My guess is ransom, because ain't no-one gonna buy those things off you in any store or museum right now. Not with the moon takin' up a quarter of the freakin' sky. So you're going to try and make folks pay to get them back.
When you make your move? I will find you. And I am going to punch you so hard your grandkids'll be born with black eyes.
[Pit loves being dramatic about things. When the video starts, there's nothing there. Suddenly, a humongous head emerges slowly from below. How cryptic! But then surprise! Pit pops out from behind it with a grin.]
Hey! How's it going, guys? I found this while digging through piles of junk. [He stops smiling, then turns the face to look at it with his face pinched in suspicion.]
I think it's a mask. I thought about putting it on, but something told me that wasn't such a good idea. Besides, my face is too small, and it's kind of an ugly mug, don'tcha think?[He twists the head around so its hollow eyes are transfixed on the screen of your personal device.]
But it seems important. I know we need four masks to get into the door of the clock tower. I'll safeguard it until we decide what to do with it.
[Wave had been to the clock tower quite a bit since arriving at Smash. She went there when she first arrived. She went with Tails a few times, and she still sort of associated the place with him. After he left, she just... couldn't quite make herself go back. Feeling hopeless with the literal end of days approaching in the sky ahead, Wave found... she could use a taste of the familiar.
Familiarity was absolutely NOT what she found.
Turning on her camera in her necklace, Wave started an open message to the academy.]
I think I figured out what the masks are for.
[She turned the jewel so that the camera could see the giant, bizarre looking door that had somehow appeared on top of the clock tower. Positioned around the door were grooves. Familiar looking grooves, at that. Comparing them to the scans she had taken earlier of the masks in Gordon's lab confirmed her suspicions.]
I went up to the clock tower, and unless someone's made some additions lately and forgot to tell us, this is pretty new. The slots around the door frame look just like the shapes of the masks we've found. And I'd bet money that there's a link between this and what's been happening with the moon. I dunno about any of you, but I'd like to figure out what's inside of it.
[It's Gordon, and he's looking more Frazzled than he normally is. Visibly tired, hair disheveled, tie missing. He even takes off his glasses for a moment to rub over his face before he speaks.]
We've got a new development in the moon... situation. A reliable source mentioned to me that the person that caused the instance in Termina was actually under control of a mask. I mean ANOTHER mask. They, uh, drew a picture:
[So suddenly a file with this image attached is broadcast to everyone:]
[Good luck sleeping tonight, guys.]
I haven't found any other images besides this one, but the other masks we gained from the monsters makes me believe that this one really is out there, and that someone has a hold of it. Or rather, that the mask has a hold of THEM.
If you're a student and you see it, let a security team member know; Do NOT confront them on your own. We don't really know what they're capable of, but considering the recent minor reconfiguration of the cosmos, I'd put money on "a lot."
We need to find this thing, and whoever it's wearing, and put a stop to them.
[Normally Gordon's little messages to the school at large are brief. Terse, is a better way to put it. A quick flick of the switch and a message that inkling ink may be non-toxic but that doesn't mean you should paint the lab specimens with it (For example.) and a quick flick of the switch off again.]
[Not so today. The feed comes on and he stares at the camera, raking a hand through his hair and starting to mouth three silent beginnings to three different sentences before he actually finds one with a voice. There's something he wants to say, but no permutation of words will make it easier to hear.]
I've, uh... Students, faculty. No doubt you've noticed that the moon hasn't gone out of full for the past week or so, and in fact looks even bigger now. I've been taking some readings. The shift in the center of gravity of the moon-planet binary and parallax measurements tell me that it's... not just an optical illusion.
The moon has, somehow, left its orbit.
I only mentioned this to the security chief before now, because I wanted to be absolutely certain of my suspicions and of where the moon was actually headed. I would like to say that it'll just harmlessly slingshot around us and into the sun. I really, really wish I could say that, in fact I spent several nights trying to make the numbers work so I COULD say that... but I can't. There's no other way to plot the trajectory, other than directly at us.
[He picks up some papers, eyeballing them on the camera, making sure he this part straight.] Now... Apparently this has happened before. A world by the name of Termina actually survived the event, but they had four guardian giants that awoke and... [A mistrustful squint at the paper.] physically shoved the moon back into orbit. [He puts the paper down.]
Obviously we're a little light on sleeping giants. As a matter of fact, I have no damn clue how to fix this, or even if we can. The four masks are involved--and there ARE four--but it's anyone's guess as to how they are. What I do know is, if we don't do something, the moon will strike the earth, and every single living creature on this planet down to the last microbe might be eradicated.
If anyone knows anything about this or has ideas, now's the time to step up. You might just save more than just the school. Also... in the event that we CAN'T stop it, I advise everyone to start making plans for quick evacuation back to your homeworlds. If you know someone who doesn't have a homeworld or can't reach it, then consider taking them with you. They may have to start all over but trust me, if that moon hits, then any place will be better than here.
[Private, to Skull Kid]
Kid... I know you were there. Your student file is hazy on the details, but I know you were there in Termina when this happened the last time. I didn't mention your name earlier and I don't intend to, because when people are panicked they can do some awful things when names are dropped. But, we still need to know everything you know if we're going to keep this planet in one piece.
So what exactly happened there?
Hello, Smash Academy. My name is Rouge the Bat, and I'll be another security guard.
...Or at least I would be if there was even a school to guard!! What on Mobius happened here?! The place is a mess and half the buildings are rubble!! And what was that giant walking mountain?!
[Private to Eggman]
Wanton destruction? This sounds like one of your schemes, Eggman. But that didn't look like a robot. If it's not you destroying everything, then who is it? Any ideas?
[Private to Knuckles]
Hello, sweetie. Miss me?
[There's a robot on the camera with two rather grotesque looking... heads? Both of them isolated in thick, futuristic-looking glass tubes for study.]
[For those unaware, Zero will fill them in:] These were left behind after the monsters in the lake and underground bunker were defeated. Their function is... unknown.
The results have come back from Dr. Freeman's lab, and as far as he can tell, these masks are extremely old... most likely ancient. Their exact age is unclear, but their composition matches no known substance. They are
Whatever they are, these... 'masks' are definitely connected to the anomalies happening in this city. If anyone else has come across clues in their investigations, or have any relevant knowledge, contact me. ( Private to security team and friends )
Hey! Who else popped outside to check out the eclipse last night?? Wasn't it crazy? What a huge blood moon! I've got some pictures if anyone wants to see!
Though, uh, actually, I guess you could just look out your window? It's sure not eclipsed, but it looks like the full blood moon is totally still out there.
Aren't these sorts of things only supposed to last a night?
[Seriously, the moon tonight was still hanging heavy and red
in the sky that next evening. And the next evening. And the... next... one? And...]
[When the camera came to life, Dr. Eggman was standing in what looked like a big empty warehouse, hands on his hips, eagerly gloating.]
OHOHOHO!! Greetings, all you little SNOTS! I hope you're enjoying the start of a brand new, even more miserable school year than the last!!
You may be asking yourself a few questions! "Doctor Eggman, why are you standing in a warehouse? Doctor Eggman, why do you look so lean and svelte? Doctor Eggman, how can I have a mustache half as amazing and luxurious as your own?" Well, to answer your first question, I have an important announcement! You see, after you MEDDLING CHILDREN blew up my airship, I've had a lot of time to rethink my life's path, evaluate where I stand, and where I want my life and career to go.
And I decided to BUILD A NEW ROBOT ARMY.
[He stepped back, revealing waves of new Badniks behind him as the camera panned.]
That bird attack a few days ago turned out to be the PERFECT opportunity for me! After rounding up a few hundred of the pests, I was able to get right back to work manufacturing more robots! So despite all of your efforts, you HAVEN'T STOPPED ME IN THE LEAST! NYAH NYAH! OHOHOHO!!!
[The feed ended. ...A moment later it turned back on.]
And to answer your other two questions, I've been taking spin classes, and conditioner is your friend.
[Then the feed ended again.]
So, in my time here, I've been doing a lot to increase my physical strength and fighting abilities. I realized just how far I had left to go to achieve my full potential! And now, I found a great new way to work out that will help me get way, way stronger. It's not only about lifting ridiculously heavy stuff but you have to do it FAST. And you get to run and do a bunch of other stuff too, all in the same training session and it's all timed. Sound hard? It is! And it's great!
It's called Crossfit
Why aren't more people doing this? How come I'm only hearin' about it now? Feel like I'm behind the times, here.
Guys, you will NOT believe what happened to me! I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been gone for MONTHS! MONTHS! And guess where I was all this time?
Jail. That's right. I went to jail. It turns out I never repaid the debt I racked up on my credit card since the first time I saved Angel Land and bought stuff off the black market, and the debt collectors who I didn't even know were hounding me finally nabbed me after all these years. Three decades and high interest rates did me in so bad... There were so many zeroes tacked onto that amount that I couldn't count them! Wonderful, incredible, amazing, benevolent, wise and all-the-other-good-adjectives-I-can't-think-of-right-now Lady Palutena was gracious enough to bail me out, but I'm still not a free angel yet. The debt's not completely repaid, so I have to keep shelling hearts out until I'm in the clear. That said, uhh... Does anyone know how I can get that kind of cash fast enough?
Auuugh! And now my credit score is in the pits, too! I'll never be able to buy a house, or a car, or a high-def flat-screen TV even if I wanted to! I might as well resign myself to a life of eternal bumhood...
Uh. Long story short, I'm back. I didn't miss too much, did I?
- Tags:bulba/venusaur (pokemon), eikichi mishina (persona), green oak (pokemon), jolt/jolteon (pokemon), knuckles (sonic), kumatora (mother), mona (wario ware), pit (kid icarus), pyrrhon (kid icarus), riwane/charizard (pokemon), sonny moe/snorlax (pokemon), vianca/winged pikmin (pikmin), vinnie/venusaur (pokemon)
[A spunky tween-age raccoon holding a tiny "Marine" flag waves at you through the screen.]
G'day, you lot! To the uninitiated, I am Captain Marine, captain of the foundered S. S. Super Marine and upcoming S. S. Ultra Marine! Yes, the ship that brought me 'ere might not have 'eld up, but the S. S. Ultra Marine will not only be able to take you to other dimensions but take you back 'ere too! It's going to be ripper!
[She waves the flag excitedly. Go her!]
Now, I just need some blokes to 'elp me man it. It'll take some work but it'll surely be worth it! I'll even discount your first voyage to 'alf price! Rip snorter of a deal, yeah?
Who's first? Don't all send me a response at once; I'm only one sheila!
Oi, Tails! You're appointed my official second First Mate! I've already recruited Blaze, but since you'll be 'elping me build it, you get a nice proper rank to go with it! No need to thank me. I know you know it'll be worth it!
[Hello! There's a new face on the network and she seems both excited and timid and is tapping away at keys before looking up at the camera then down again and finally up one more time.]
H-hello there, I'm sure you all figure, but I'm new here a your Academy and am happy to say I'm excited to both learn alongside you as a student, and hopefully teach you some things as a teacher as well! I'll be teaching a branch of engineering while attending school and learning about this world!
[She pauses for a second before her face reddens and she offers an awkward bow of her head.] Guess I got ahead of myself, f-forgot to introduce myself.
I'm Ronnae, Ronnae 'Mash Belore Ryllos. I come from Azeroth and I hope you'll have me here and that i can prove to be an asset as well.
So, I, well thank you!
Hey, it's Mona! We meet again!
A very big THANK YOU to all those who attended my photo booth at prom. You guys TOTALLY ROCK! I hope to see all of you happy couples and grads again next year, where I promise you my booth will be bigger and better than it was this year! Gotta top off that big bang of an earthquake somehow. What a show off...
[She's going to try and bugger the headmasters of the academy to fork over some cash in order to buy a real working waterfall instead of her painted backdrop one. Don't ask where Mona is going to find a legit waterfall, let alone get it into the hall for next year. Just...better off not questioning it.]
Should you have purchased a photo package from me, your proofs will be sent out shortly in the following weeks to come. Honestly, why doesn't the academy have a dark room? Don't you people have a weekly school news paper? Where do you develop your film at?! I'm sorry you have to bear with the mess in our bathroom Chiyo...
[Look guys, Mona hasn't upgraded herself to a digital camera yet. Bear with her. When one of your two bosses back home doesn't pay you a cent for your hard work, it's hard to meet end's meat, let alone indulge in nice things. Which, doesn't make a lot of sense since buying film is way more expensive in the long haul. Again, don't question it. Mona's sense of logic...lacks at times, to put it politely.]
Booth aside, I'm writing to you all in hopes I can trouble a few of you for a favor? A friend and I recently had a little accident involving our bikes and she's assured me someone around these parts can help a girl out. I rely heavily on my Mona Cycle to get to and from places, so it would be a BIG help if one of you gearheads could fix her back up into pristine condition as fast as you could. And I'd like, totally love you forever if you could do that.
[While the network post was aimed at his fellow security guards, it wasn't private. Zero knew full well that there were people among the student body and faculty who also actively protected the school, so there was no reason to keep them out of the message. Maybe he was just being overly cautious, but that was part of his job.]
That earthquake still needs investigating. I'm not leaving that to chance... not while the water level's also changed.
I want to investigate if there's any new activity in the underground bunker. Even if most of the shadow bugs have relocated, it still poses a security risk. If there's no one else who can navigate to the bottom of the lake, I'll check that out too.
Fefnir, Wave: if you're not concerned, I can handle it alone. Harpuia: consider this notice, since you've been organizing our shifts.
= = =
[Zero can also be found in the stadium, testing out the weapons left behind by the now absent Samus. It was strange - he barely knew her, and yet it felt like he had some kind of bond with... him? Her? It was hard to say. His memories were still fuzzy over the whole thing. All he knew was that Samus had some pretty good taste in weapons, and he was grateful to have them. There were pistols, batons, even a whip... the reploid could adapt to any weapon with ease. All of Zero's own were designed specifically to destroy - with so many humans at the school, a non-lethal paralyzer was a blessing.]
...uh. Two things.
One: How do I even know if I'm graduating? If I failed a lot of classes, does that mean I don't graduate? Just checking. Not saying that that's what happened.
[It's totally what happened.]
Two: If we're going to the Prom party thing, do I have to wear fancy clothes? Or... clothes? Or are gloves and shoes fine? Can I just wear a collar and tie like this guy?
I dunno about the hat, though.
[Sonic flashes a peace sign at the camera before he says a single word. Are those wraps on his arms?
Is he slowly turning into Sonic Boom Sonic? Well, it's probably nothing. He's smiling nevertheless.]
Hey, guys! It looks like summer's just around the corner! It's close enough to get excited about it, anyway. So who's got plans? And while we're at it, I'm curious; what're your favorite things to do in the summertime?
[Private, to Knuckles]
[The smile is still there, but it's a bit more awkwardly-sitting this time.]
Hey Knux. Do, uh, d'you have a Flame Shield I can borrow? You remember those things, right? We used to find 'em all the time back home...