So... I guess I'm getting married! Suck on THAT, Bowser! As soon as this is all sorted, you'd better believe it!
There's a lot that needs to be done, I suppose...
[Private to Kumatora]
So I was wondering... I kinda need a maid of honor. You want the job?
[Private to Mac]
When we can get out of here again, I, um... I want to go back to Sarasaland. And I want to bring you with me... After all, this is officially a royal wedding now!
Alright, I'll just cut through the pretense. Looks like the sky is falling, eh? You'd think there would be at least two or three people at the school that had some kind of insta-fix when it comes to this situation. But instead, I guess we're trapped in FDC. I don't have much to offer at the moment outside of being someone to freak out at I guess. If someone needs that.
Meanwhile, when it comes to me and mine... We stay cool, we stay together, we'll figure this shit out. Are you guys all okay? Obviously Bulba's already here, but between our two bedrooms, we've got plenty of space. If you wanted to come camp out in the RA dorm... I'd like that.
[Private to Blue]
You always were smarter than me when it came to logical moves. Mind laying down some of your trademark wisdom on me? I'm not saying this is weirding me out, but...
Hey! Who else popped outside to check out the eclipse last night?? Wasn't it crazy? What a huge blood moon! I've got some pictures if anyone wants to see!
Though, uh, actually, I guess you could just look out your window? It's sure not eclipsed, but it looks like the full blood moon is totally still out there.
Aren't these sorts of things only supposed to last a night?
[Seriously, the moon tonight was still hanging heavy and red
in the sky that next evening. And the next evening. And the... next... one? And...]
[When the camera came to life, Dr. Eggman was standing in what looked like a big empty warehouse, hands on his hips, eagerly gloating.]
OHOHOHO!! Greetings, all you little SNOTS! I hope you're enjoying the start of a brand new, even more miserable school year than the last!!
You may be asking yourself a few questions! "Doctor Eggman, why are you standing in a warehouse? Doctor Eggman, why do you look so lean and svelte? Doctor Eggman, how can I have a mustache half as amazing and luxurious as your own?" Well, to answer your first question, I have an important announcement! You see, after you MEDDLING CHILDREN blew up my airship, I've had a lot of time to rethink my life's path, evaluate where I stand, and where I want my life and career to go.
And I decided to BUILD A NEW ROBOT ARMY.
[He stepped back, revealing waves of new Badniks behind him as the camera panned.]
That bird attack a few days ago turned out to be the PERFECT opportunity for me! After rounding up a few hundred of the pests, I was able to get right back to work manufacturing more robots! So despite all of your efforts, you HAVEN'T STOPPED ME IN THE LEAST! NYAH NYAH! OHOHOHO!!!
[The feed ended. ...A moment later it turned back on.]
And to answer your other two questions, I've been taking spin classes, and conditioner is your friend.
[Then the feed ended again.]
Guys, you will NOT believe what happened to me! I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been gone for MONTHS! MONTHS! And guess where I was all this time?
Jail. That's right. I went to jail. It turns out I never repaid the debt I racked up on my credit card since the first time I saved Angel Land and bought stuff off the black market, and the debt collectors who I didn't even know were hounding me finally nabbed me after all these years. Three decades and high interest rates did me in so bad... There were so many zeroes tacked onto that amount that I couldn't count them! Wonderful, incredible, amazing, benevolent, wise and all-the-other-good-adjectives-I-can't-think-of-right-now Lady Palutena was gracious enough to bail me out, but I'm still not a free angel yet. The debt's not completely repaid, so I have to keep shelling hearts out until I'm in the clear. That said, uhh... Does anyone know how I can get that kind of cash fast enough?
Auuugh! And now my credit score is in the pits, too! I'll never be able to buy a house, or a car, or a high-def flat-screen TV even if I wanted to! I might as well resign myself to a life of eternal bumhood...
Uh. Long story short, I'm back. I didn't miss too much, did I?
- Tags:bulba/venusaur (pokemon), eikichi mishina (persona), green oak (pokemon), jolt/jolteon (pokemon), knuckles (sonic), kumatora (mother), mona (wario ware), pit (kid icarus), pyrrhon (kid icarus), riwane/charizard (pokemon), sonny moe/snorlax (pokemon), vianca/winged pikmin (pikmin), vinnie/venusaur (pokemon)
[Green had gone into town with the express purpose of buying gifts for his graduated Pokemon, but then immediately felt guilty and bought gifts for all his Pokemon. They all ended up getting new (color coded, of course) messenger bags for the journeys ahead. He also agonized for a bit longer over a gift for another graduate, Blue. She got a necklace with a stone embedded in it that reminded him of the stones she had gifted him when she came to visit, before she had even enrolled. That, along with a note--
What's a thing you still haven't done, despite having lived in FDC for so long? Let's go do it this week.
I trust you'll choose something adventurous. Of course, I have suggestions, if you'd like.
Congrats to all you sorry douches that graduated this year-- Personally, it seems ridiculous that so many of you are choosing to stick around, but look who's talking. I hope you'll join me in making next year as horrifying as possible for any incoming freshmen.
Private, to Bulba and Kumatora
Since Zelda went home, looks like it's up to you now, Bulba. gonna have to make sure me and Kuma don't party too goddamn hard on any given night.
I will volunteer to attempt to make a batch of cookies in her honor. I'll never be able to get them as good as her, though.
Hey Blue, let's get out of here for Valentine's, alright? Don't much wanna be on campus. I think you remember last year.
I mean, if you want. If you had plans on campus, we can always hang around. I might just build a shield, though. Don't mind me.
I'm thinking some kind of Blue-like adventurous activity and then dinner. What do you say?
[Jolt's video feed was nothing but static. His voice could barely be heard over it before the feed shut off completely.
When Jolt gets sick, he loses control over his electric powers. Thus when he touched his phone, it shorted out. When he tried to use his computer, it blacked out. So with nothing left to do, not even feeling like eating, he just flopped onto his bed and hoped anyone who came to see him didn't get paralyzed.]
alright kiddlies time for some ra announcement shit
it is now officially autumn and i know the thing to do as the nights get colder is add a little warming bev into your apple cider if you know what i mean. if youre gonna be drunk there are some ground rules
- do not throw up in a common area
- do not blast music/scream and stuff
- do not allow any assorted magical powers to go haywire/involve the campus in some weeklong inconvenient shenanigans
as always this is green oak, at least the third or fourth best ra, signing off
[Galleom. Purple streaks in the sky, or barely-there bubbles. Shadow Bugs. Invisible walls in space her ship couldn't pass through. These recent occurrences bothered Samus, of course, but she could always take solace in being able to jet off into space should she need additional supplies or some well-needed isolation. She still had her freedom.
Now, suddenly, she didn't. And that bothered her. It made her kind of angry. And an angry Samus was prone to be a productive Samus.]No doubt you've all noticed to some degree the purple streaks coming and going in the sky, the influx of shadow bugs, and that uninvited prom guest with the ugly face.
...The... apparent gender-switch one of you is experiencing.
We all know this academy is no stranger to strange things but this instance seems like a cultivation of strange things. They don't seem to be lasting a nice clean predictable week like they usually do. I'm not going to wait around for the Hands to admit all they know how to be is utterly useless. We should take matters into our own hands.
I've taken the liberty of exploring the bunkers, and yes there is an unsettling collection of life-size statues down there as some of you have ascertained. For as long as I've been here, I can tell you most of them are ones I recognize... they're former Smash Academy residents.
The shadow bugs seemed to be pouring out of one statue in particular but I could not get close enough. Tempting as it was to destroy it... I didn't.
I also discovered a room that--as succinctly as I can describe it--reminded me of a Biotech Research Area, or Biohazard Containment area. There was also a chamber filled with what looked like large defunct bombs.
I would appreciate it if anyone has any other pertinent information to share, or things they've discovered.
Yeah, okay. I guess I should say something as an RA about the outrageous middle finger to my sanity that is the events currently happening around campus. Honestly I only have to say one thing:
This kinda stuff isn't even surprising any more, so how come a patented Smash Academy travesty had to happen right after my damn birthday? Shit, guy can't even get three weeks deep into being 23 without some shits coming out to ruin things. Really pisses me off. This is what I get for not throwing a massive party on the night.
Well whatever. Stay safe and stuff. Ugh.
Oh yeah, almost forgot I even had this thing. Sorry for the radio silence, just had my nose buried in literature from Kalos. Are you guys seeing this shit? Things are getting weird over there.
Anyways, I realized a lot of new kids showed up in the lengthy time since my last network post, so I'll just go ahead and reintroduce myself. Green Oak, boys RA/TA. When I'm not vaguely tending to hormonal brats, I'm Viridian City's Pokemon Gym Leader. My gramps is a professor of Pokemon studies. I Hail from Pallet Town. Charmed, I'm sure.
I guess the greeting extends to the new teachers, too. If you need me to sub for your class or help out or something, I'll get paid for it, so I'll do it.
I have a Venusaur, a Charizard, a Jolteon, and a Gengar with me on campus, all in various stations in the school. They're the better team, and I'll hear no arguments about it. I'm sure we'll all be the best of friends.
[Private to Blue]
So... Kalos, eh?
[Action for Red]
[It took him a long time to do it, but one evening Green finally forced himself over to Red's dorm, three quiet knocks the only sign that he was there.]
Attention Smash Academy! I thank you all for your PATIENCE and COOPERATION during this most TRYING of times.
And, according to the mayor's office, I DEEPLY REGRET any... overzealousness on the part of me or my robotic hordes.
That all being said, as part of my, er, SETTLEMENT, I will be DE-ROBOTISIZING everyone who was transformed during the recent unpleasantness. As soon as YOU PUNKS GIVE BACK MY ROBOTISIZER!!!
Ahem. That is all for now. Good day, Smash Academy.
[FUN COOL VIDEO TIMES:
If you're like Char, you've probably noticed some flyers around school advertising the upcoming poolparty. If you're like Char, you're probably super allergic to water and apparently not afraid to get grumpy about that. Odds are, you're not like Char. Here he is, thoroughly deadpan:]
So. Pool party this weekend, apparently. Can't fuckin' wait.
Seems like an awful lot of the shindigs around here involve water, huh? Ain't as bad as a school trip to a hot spring, but I'm still lookin' forward to the day we take a field trip to an active volcano or two.
[LATER, FUN COOL ACTION TIMES:
So Char's visiting the RA dorms today. He's here hoping to find Green and maybe ask him a thing or two, but if he runs into another RA while he's there (hi Bulba hi), then he's certainly not gonna complain.]
[EVEN LATER, FUN COOL TEXTING JOLT TIMES:]
you up to anything right now?