So... I guess I'm getting married! Suck on THAT, Bowser! As soon as this is all sorted, you'd better believe it!
There's a lot that needs to be done, I suppose...
[Private to Kumatora]
So I was wondering... I kinda need a maid of honor. You want the job?
[Private to Mac]
When we can get out of here again, I, um... I want to go back to Sarasaland. And I want to bring you with me... After all, this is officially a royal wedding now!
[ When Vivian loads the video up, there's a smile that hasn't aged a day. The rest of her, however, is definitely older. Much older. And when she speaks, it's clear time has been kind to her speech development. ]
Hello, friends! Do you remember me?
It's been so long! But I haven't forgotten any of you. Hmmm. I wonder who's still here? [ She hesitates. ] Doctor? ... Taka? Are you still here?
[ It goes without saying that despite the smile on her lips, it's fading fast unless someone answers her. ]
I know that most of you chumps are worried about the moon crashing into the planet or whatever.
I've destroyed more than one moon in my time. Several moons. Lots of them. They fall apart like brittle china when I hit them with my massive upper-body strength. I'm just that sort of guy
Problem being, at the time, I was bigger than I currently am. It's a long story, I created my own universe, it was amazing, then I got tired of it and I left because once you've created one universe, you've created them all. But anyway, I don't have access to any Grand Stars, since I can't seem to fly off-planet anymore, so I can't create or destroy planets anymore.
But fear not, much weaker-than-me reader. I, with my brilliant mind, have another plan. I need at least two adventurous... adventurers... to shrink down to microscopic size, enter my body, and visit my... growth area
, which will stimulate my already prodigious strength and amazing body to the limit, and I'll grow large enough to punch the moon out of the sky, no problems. Just imagine, how grateful everyone you know will be, knowing that you got to help me
solve all of your moon-issues for you.
So anyway, I'm taking volunteers here.
Hello everyone! Cynthia here.
I'm not expecting any of you people to know who I am, since I just arrived a few days ago. I also just finished signing a mountain of paperwork that now signifies that I'm going to be everyone's new guidance counselor, and pokemon history teacher to the junior.
...basically, this is the first time I saw sunlight since given that accursed stack of paperwork. Hopefully no carpal tunnels any time soon.
Anyway, please feel free to come up to me with your problems. Be it school stress, or anything under the sun. My door is always open, and I am very good at keeping secrets. Also, though I have yet to see a rule against it, I am allowing students who are interested in pokemon history and mythology to sit in my class if they want to.
Uhmm...yeah. I look forward to meeting you all.
[Though, to anyone walking along the courtyard. She was seated by the fountain with a notebook and pen in hand. Cynthia may look busy. But feel free to bother her. She's just making her lesson plan anyway.]
So, you're probably all wondering where I've been for the last few days.
Literally nobody has noticed or cared
I'll let you all know.
I had my time-machine rebuilt
, and was off exploring the wonders of history.
Learning about history can be fun. Let me show you some of the wonders.
::Bowser holds a bladed staff weapon up.:: This is a Taiaha
. Maori warriors used to use them to invent trench warfare. What's trench warfare, you ask? Nobody knows anymore, because none of the Maori have Taiahas anymore.
::Bowser holds up a set of brushes.:: Did you know that Michelangelo painted a ton of naked people all over a church
one time? Well, not without his brushes he didn't. Junior did a much better job at painting it over, anyway.
::Bowser holds up an old camera:: Eadweard Muybridge
pioneered stop-motion photography, until his camera went missing. Today he's remembered most for getting away with killing his wife's lover.
::Bowser holds up a series of papers
:: Did you know that Canada was supposed to be founded on July 1, 1867, but due to some inconvenient paperwork mistakes, it was actually not founded until September 5, 1867, at the height of Canadian winter? It's true.
And that's why history can be fun.
[Lo! Somewhere in the library is some student of Smash Academy at the public computers, making a post to the network and probably asking about homecoming dance or something. Somewhere in the library off screen there is a barking voice, obviously annoyed and sounds suspiciously like Captain Falcon.]
Keep it down with your stupid video diary, I'm trying to think!
[S-Sorry, coach! The kid says, then goes on to timidly explain that it's not a video diary, but a post to the school's network! The kid looks back at the recording video apologetically while "coach" can be heard muttering off-screen.]
Network? For the school? So everyone can see what you're doing right now?
[...Yeah? This appears to have sealed the nameless student's fate, and suddenly there is the torso of a man in bright red spandex with ridiculous thighs behind him. The kid is grabbed by the scruff of his shirt collar and violently thrown clear across the room into a bookshelf. The shelf teeters backwards then falls into the next shelf behind it, and then the one behind it, and it's a magnificent domino effect to which does not seem to concern him. If anything he seems proud of the fact there are now books are everywhere and the kid probably has a word concussion. Red spandex coach-sound-alike sits down in front of the computer. He is also a coach-look-alike! Only EVIL LOOKING. It's probably skull on his helmet and the spikes on his shoulder pauldron. Or maybe Falcon is going through some midlife crisis and felt like a wardrobe change
and got lost in a Hot Topic. Or it's some crazy clone.]
Hi. [Either way, this coach also has fangs, which are easily seen the moment he starts speaking.]
I know you're here. I saw the your shitmobile in the parking lot. Or, you know, was in the parking lot. [He grins. It's an awful fang-filled kind of grin. WHAT DID HE DO... HE DID SOMETHING BAD.] And the big floating hand said so. I'm going to find you eventually, so why don't you make this easy and come out of hiding. I'm not going anywhere until then!
[Late, late at night Friday evening (or early Saturday morning if you prefer) something broke through the summer sky. It wasn't one of those strange purple streaks but it was coming in hot and fast. A fireball looked like it was heading on a crash course for the dorms but banked hard at the last moment and plowed through the nearby forest bordering the school. The result was loud and thunderous, and left an ominous billow of smoke somewhere deep beyond the tree line. Perhaps it was a [VIDEO]
metroidrite meteorite? Dare ye investigate?
Should you bravely venture into the poorly lit forest you might discover what looks like the smoldering remains of a crashed spaceship. Half the hull was buried deep into the ground jutting out at a 45 degree angle, heaping up dirt and rock where it impacted. A neat line of toppled over, half-mangled, half-burned trees points in the direction it came from--seemingly none other than "up".
Samus was surprised he survived that at all. He can thank his suit of armor for absorbing most of the impact but now it too is mangled beyond any good use. Stripped of his Power Suit he's nearly defenseless, not to mention sore and grumpy. All he has is a rather useless emergency pistol and his tattered skin-tight Zero Suit. Attempting to crawl out of the wreckage only so armed may have been foolish, but he had no choice.
Some distress signal that turned out to be. At least he was alive, and he planned on making that much count.]
[SOME TIME AFTER THE CRASH... (perhaps a day or two later) Samus attempts, very begrudgingly, to get settled in this Smash Academy place until he can make repairs on his poor broken ship. Not that anyone needs to know about that and frankly he'd prefer no one did. That's a problem he plans to tackle on his own but in the meantime he has another one. [[OOC NOTE #1: Lady Samus definitely would have at least told Ian she was jetting off to space with Falcon for an indefinite period of time. SORRY IAN, YOU'RE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.
On the video there's some blonde grumpy guy
I am shit designing clothes just roll with it he could be blonde Han Solo apparently using one of the library's public computers.]
My name is Samus Aran. I'm not one for formalities—you can call me Samus, or Aran, whatever you prefer. I'm new faculty and as much as I'd love to get settled in [There's some very light sarcasm there to the trained ear.] I'm running into a problem.
[He holds up a set of keys, upon which are inscribed with the letters: TD-01.]
The Headmasters insist this is my new designated room to board in, but it's already obviously occupied. I'd prefer not to kick anyone out of their room or take it by force unnecessarily, so show yourself so we can negotiate.
OOC NOTE #2: Because of this exchange, Lady Samus, before leaving, would have made efforts to encase some bombs in ice with her pew pew arm cannon's ice beams and booby-trap the hell out of the bunkers. More heavily (and more deadly-ly!) the areas surrounding the bombs, and should this put a damper on any plans I'm super flexible and willing to roll with anything; she missed a bomb, made human error, setting off one of her traps exposes a bomb or something. She definitely would have gone through the efforts to not make it easy on anyone, that's all.]]
[Galleom. Purple streaks in the sky, or barely-there bubbles. Shadow Bugs. Invisible walls in space her ship couldn't pass through. These recent occurrences bothered Samus, of course, but she could always take solace in being able to jet off into space should she need additional supplies or some well-needed isolation. She still had her freedom.
Now, suddenly, she didn't. And that bothered her. It made her kind of angry. And an angry Samus was prone to be a productive Samus.]No doubt you've all noticed to some degree the purple streaks coming and going in the sky, the influx of shadow bugs, and that uninvited prom guest with the ugly face.
...The... apparent gender-switch one of you is experiencing.
We all know this academy is no stranger to strange things but this instance seems like a cultivation of strange things. They don't seem to be lasting a nice clean predictable week like they usually do. I'm not going to wait around for the Hands to admit all they know how to be is utterly useless. We should take matters into our own hands.
I've taken the liberty of exploring the bunkers, and yes there is an unsettling collection of life-size statues down there as some of you have ascertained. For as long as I've been here, I can tell you most of them are ones I recognize... they're former Smash Academy residents.
The shadow bugs seemed to be pouring out of one statue in particular but I could not get close enough. Tempting as it was to destroy it... I didn't.
I also discovered a room that--as succinctly as I can describe it--reminded me of a Biotech Research Area, or Biohazard Containment area. There was also a chamber filled with what looked like large defunct bombs.
I would appreciate it if anyone has any other pertinent information to share, or things they've discovered.
[Bip! It's that angel kid you see around sometimes. The one who never takes those leaves out of his hair. He looks a little uncertain about what he has to say, but also keyed up, like he really wants to let loose on his info.]
Soooo... yeah. Yarne's entry sort of reminded me about what happened about a month ago. It's been on my mind, but I think now's the time to let it out of the closet. Or in this case, the basement. Or the bunkers.
You know the bunkers, right? They were used in the Aparoid War I wasn't a part of. Well, deep beneath them is a series of mysterious tunnels with all kinds of weird stuff in them- 'ghosts', Redeads, booby traps, you name it! But me and a few other investigators explored the tunnels a bit and found something pretty weird. They were statues of our friends! And they were so lifelike I thought maybe they were turned to stone. I saw Knuckles down there, and [HE'S BREAKING OUT THE COUNTY FINGERS!!] Midna, and Fox and Bowser Junior and Lucas and Snake and... even me, or so I thought. Actually, it was just Pittoo- he's kind of like my dark and grumpy doppelganger but not. It's a long story! Anyway, there were too many to name in one post, but it was creepy with a capital C. We're not sure what they were for, and maybe that's the creepy part. Also because- hello? They're statues of our friends! And there were a lot, all in amazing detail. Whoever made them had talent coming out of their ears.
Yeah, Hifumi sure wasn't kidding. There were a lot of statues down there. I-I mean! Figurines! Man, I still don't know the difference. Sorry for my ignorance.
We're back, everyone! The honeymoon was so good! We saw all sorts of interesting architecture and flora, hit the beach, and had the most romantic moonlit walks!
But... When we got back, I got a notice from Professor Frankly. There's been a big discovery out east, and he wants me to go and investigate. Unfortunately, it means I've got to leave the school, and I don't know how long it'll be... But it could be the discovery of a lifetime! So I'm sorry to say, but... I'm leaving. I'm so sorry everyone, especially to everyone in Archaeology. But I'll definitely write and send back some cool artifacts! This has been the best time of my life, and thanks everyone!
On Monday morning at 9am, when students are in classes, a chime goes off.
A familiar chime
to any student from Hope's Peak Academy.
The voice everyone expects does not appear afterward, however. That is, perhaps, the only good thing to come from this.( DR Spoiler Thing Happens )
- Tags:!action post, bowser (mario), byakuya togami (dangan ronpa), hajime tanaka (osu tatakae ouendan), hifumi yamada (dangan ronpa), jock/arcanine (pokemon), kei nanjo (persona), kiyotaka ishimaru (dangan ronpa), mondo oowada (dangan ronpa), mukuro ikusaba (dangan ronpa), rick (portal), samus aran (metroid), yasuhiro hagakure (dangan ronpa)
::Backdated to early December. Private Communications Videofeed shows Bowser staring into the camera with little tears in the corners of his eyes. He is smiling.::
Eggman. Eggman, I've got this thing I've been meaning to show you. I keep watching it and I realize I need someone to watch it with me who isn't Kammy.
::Kammy floats by behind Bowser on a broom, the wrinkles in her face creating a hideous map of flesh that lays out the secret paths of nightmares and incontinence::
This is not because I forgot about him
Itchymarbles will find, written out in that crazy moon language that he speaks, a lovely note attached to a gift, wishing for him to have a happy New Year. Who is it from? It just says "a friend." In moonspeak.
Inside of the present is a set of decorated battledores
for playing hanetsuki
. Of course, girls play that game traditionally on New Year's more than boys, but we can't expect Bowser to get everything
right, can we?
Anyway, whoever grabs one of the battledores will find it stuck to their hands, as they are cursed. Forever
Or until he or she uses the battledore to hit 10 different people, unexpectedly, across the back of the head. This thought is implanted into the head of whomever is currently cursed by the battledore.
Several months ago, Itchymarbles had gotten underneath Bowser's skin. He'd taken to the occasional bomb-throwing into the annoying student's room since then, but that was losing its luster. It no longer had that fresh feeling of antagonism, the high of pure, unadulterated opposition.
So, he went trolling on the internet to see if he could dig up anything about Indiemango; what he found was surprising. So surprising that their contents cannot be revealed here, dear reader.
However, he learned enough to formulate a beautiful plan.
There is an invisible magikoopa trailing Kibbletango. Whenever Kittytaco is in a hallway alone, or in the bathroom alone, a certain someone
will appear at the end of the hallway. Or peeking in over the stall. And that beautiful laughter
(they've been practicing, so that their ancient, dust-covered magikoopa throats can manage it with a bit of magic to help).
It always disappears around a corner or after looking down in the stall (not creepy at all, guys) for a moment, too quickly to be caught up with. Invisiblity + teleportation is fun
Also, because Bowser saw how poorly Krinkletable took Mondo's... well, you know... Bowser used his teleportation to pop himself into Mondo and Kindertrumpet's room during class hours to smear a couple of pounds worth of butter in Mondo's sheets, and tossed a couple of pancakes in cornhead's sock drawer, just to help create a feeling of goodwill and care. Wait, no. Paranoia and fear. That's it. Paranoia and fear.
[RIIIIING. RIIIIIING. RIIIIIIIIIIIING.
What little asshole pulled the fire alarm? Who knows, but after about 30 minutes of being herded to and milling around on the grass, it's announced that this was likely a prank since there's no discernible fire anyone can identify. It's safe to return back to your dorm rooms, and REMINDER; DON'T PULL THE FIRE ALARM AS A PRANK OR YOU WILL GET DETENTION!!! Seems like another ordinary day at Smash Academy, right?
No, there's something a little more ominous in the air...]Attention, Smash Academy. This is Mayor Tabuu speaking.[Whoa, something must be really important for him to address Smash Academy's network specifically.]( Important like a few images and font colors within )
- Tags:bowser (mario), chili (pokemon), clear (dramatical murder), connor kenway (assassin's creed), gordon freeman (half-life), isabelle (animal crossing), knuckles (sonic), mary (ib), mondo oowada (dangan ronpa), naoya (devil survivor), pulseman (pulseman), rhys (fire emblem), robotnik/eggman (sonic), shadow (sonic the hedgehog), warren/persian (pokemon)